very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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