"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Still dying that you shit outside
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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