why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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