I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
