Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
