Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
