i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
