I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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