At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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