I can text with my tongue
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
