Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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