Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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