i jhust puked up my retainher.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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