God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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