i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
