I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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