So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Less talking, more tequila
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
