i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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