Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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