He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
