My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize