Do you still have your period?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize