also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
