they need to just BURY HIM!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
