Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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