Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I touched a dick in church today
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
