I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
