I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you win again, gameday.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
