I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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