hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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