i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
