have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
