If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
