I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
