Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
