I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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