I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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