I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize