i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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