So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
