I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
