The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You made out with two different species that night
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
