Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
