dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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