She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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