I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Im part way to drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
