He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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