respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
