were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
