At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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