This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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