She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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