Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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