This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
