I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize