Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
