i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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