Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
