I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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