The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
