I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dignity is for republicans.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
