whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize