Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
