operation harelip BJ is a go
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
sarcasm needs its own font
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
