I got chris browned last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
