so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
