dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
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you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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