Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize